I haven’t done it yet. And my sex drive is going through the roof…
I just wonder about her. What about her? Well she’s my only viable option… and she’s just… still great. After two years, she’s still, just… great.
We’ve both been very busy with work to even see each other. We were thinking of movies to go to. But again. Way too busy.
I had an option once before… I gave as many signals as I could. And her flirting was more just “I’m just gonna flirt and stay a friend with you, k thanks” kind. Which annoyed me for the final time. So I’m just gonna stop trying and make her try, if she was even the slightest interested in me.
New years is coming up. I invited the former girl (former girl mentioned in this post). Hopefully she comes out. I’m not expecting it to happen. I just want a new years kiss.
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She wants a man:
Just. Be there.
Though I’m just a couple of these traits. It’s never enough to be “just a couple” of them. I’m there, but I’m not trying to be there. I’m just there. To see if I can do it with “just a couple”.
You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor & move the fuck on.
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Fearing the worst in situations that I have, is usually a clear sign that I’ve done wrong. Completely wrong. And with me expecting the worst is always something terrible. My usual conclusion to the matter is that it’s probably worse than I initially think.
I’ve got to make things right, and not end on such a sour note.
My state of mind, when things happen like this, usually stick to a not so awesome mood.
I seem happy, doing awesome on the outside. But truly, I’m just sad and not cool with myself.
And usually when I feel this way, I try to listen to a song or two. Keep my mind off it. Most of the time it helps, but my song selection just leads to thinking. Lots of it.
Hm. What an easy life, huh?
Whatever it is, if it doesn’t make you happy, walk away. Give it away to someone else who wants it. Let it be their next dream; let it out of your system. You’re emptying out your limitations when you do that. & then you have room to grow… to allow magnificent things fill the vacuum of those seemingly empty places. Because when you hold onto yesterday… when you hold onto dead & dying adventures, you have no room in your box for greatness.
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Favorite Montage of all time.
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More or less, I think.
“Yeah, I think it’s time to try a bit harder.”
And yeah. I do try harder. But usually, I get the feeling that she just shrugs it off, and just wants to be your friend. That’s all, nothing more.
Making me, think everything through all over again.
It’s like a life process for me that doesn’t change. I’ve got to make that change… for once in my life..
Gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference.
Gonna make it right…
I would guess, MJ’s Man in the Mirror is very appropriate for this.
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